Why is AT&T so difficult?

Difficult. That’s what comes to mind when somebody mentions AT&T. I don’t know where the company falls on the customer dissatisfaction list, but it’s probably pretty close to the top. I don’t understand why they have to make things so painful for customers. It took less time to set up a joint bank account than it did to combine two calling plans into one.

My girlfriend and I wanted to combine our accounts into one single “family” plan. Before you get excited, no, we’re not engaged--or pregnant. We’re just practical. Each of us would save $10 per month. Simple, right? Uh, no.

Employee #1

First, we visited a store. I wanted to talk to a person face to face to get some information. We wanted to know how much the data plan would cost for an old, non-3G iPhone that we inherited.

We walked into the store, at which point Employee #1 took our names and told us we could watch TV while we waited. It was like restaurant meets hospital waiting room. At least it was nice to be entertained by some golf. But if we had hated golf . . .

Employee #2

After waiting for 15 minutes, we spoke to Employee #2, who told us that the data plan for the old iPhones is the same price as it always was: $20 / month. I thought it was going to cost $30, regardless of which generation phone you had. I was pleasantly surprised.

#2 also said we could activate the phone at home through the internet. This was actually very easy to do, mostly because we didn't have deal with AT&T. We could do it through iTunes. Well done, Apple.

Employee #3

At home, we realized that we should probably just combine our phone plans to save money, so we ended up using internet chat to talk to Employee #3. Of course, the only way to get the Employee #3 is to pretend you're going to buy a plan. Anyway, he told us that we would need to call or visit a store to do so. Blerg! If only we had chatted with Employee #3 before Employee #2.

Employee #4

We activated the phone through iTunes and then called AT&T. Employee #4 basically said that I could just put my girlfriend on my account as a family plan member. My girlfriend would just have to call and say it was OK. Instead of doing that, I just handed the phone to said girlfriend.

Employee #4 then told my girlfriend that she would have to call a certain number. Really? I’m not clear on why she couldn’t just transfer us. I mean, it’s a phone company. If anybody has the technology to do so, wouldn’t they?

Employee #5

Whatever. We called the number. After surviving the menu and maze of “press this number, press that number,” she got Employee #5. Of course, Employee #5 was the wrong person, and she told my girlfriend that she had to call--take a wild guess. That's right, the same number she had just dialed to get Employee #5. Fortunately, #5 checked and told us that the people we needed to contact had already gone home for the day.

Employee #6

Two days later, we called back. Employee #6 tried to get rid of us by again giving us the SAME number as Employee #4 and #5. At least they were consistent. Upon further explanation by my girlfriend, they realized that we weren’t navigating the menu quite right. Fine.

Employee #7

Call back, enter the magic combination of numbers, and get Employee #7. Employee #7 told my girlfriend that all she needed to do was give a thumbs up that her account could be put on mine. Now, all that had to happen was I had to call in and finish the deed.

To recap, I had to put a note on my account OK’ing combining; then my girlfriend had to put a note on her account OK’ing combining. Then I had to call back to finally slay the dragon that is combining accounts.

But ah ha, I am in the room, so she just handed the phone to me, so I could deal with the details right away. Now that we’ve both given the thumbs up, it should be no problem, right?

Even more Employee #7

First, they had to run a credit check. Why? Don't know. Don't care. Whatever, go ahead and check my credit. What? You also need my address again? It's not right there on the computer in front of you? OK.

Employee #7 then explained that it was going to cost $60 to combine accounts. That makes sense because there’s a guy that has to go in the back and splice a bunch of wires together and . . . oh wait, no there’s not. Fine, nothing is free, and in the long run, after three months, we’ll be saving money.

20 minutes later, which probably cost us minutes, we had a family plan going. And in three months when we are actually saving money, I’m sure it will be worth it. Of course, they always tell you things may not show up on your bill for a few billing cycles. And that also makes sense because there are a bunch of interns hand writing the details of my paperless account.

All of these employees were helpful if not enthusiastic. I can hardly imagine being enthusiastic when you work in such a terrible system.

At the end of the day, you may tell me to just shut up and join a different company. Unfortunately, I can’t join a different company. I don’t actually have a choice because AT&T is the only cell company that works on campus. And if I want to have an iPhone, only AT&T works. If somebody could explain the marketing logic of that, I’d love to hear it. As for the shutting up, I’m done whining.