Why not have standards in sports?

I will be the first to admit that sports probably get more attention than they merit. I spend more time than I need to reading ESPN, being disappointed by Notre Dame football, filling out my NCAA tourney bracket, watching golf . . . On the flip side, I could be doing worse things than following sports: robbing old ladies, loitering at a convenience store, or doing drugs. However, we are constantly reminded that sports won’t necessarily keep you away from the drugs.

It’s no longer surprising news that Manny Ramirez of the LA Dodgers was suspended for 50 games because he tested positive for steroid use. In fact, the surprise should be that the media still consider drug-using athletes news. It’s starting to have the ring of “slick politicians” or “nerdy scientists” (but maybe those are better grounded in fact). In sports though, it’s too bad a few bad eggs are ruining the game. Leagues need to dump those eggs by having a serious and very strict drug policy.

The rule should be that if you use performance-enhancing drugs, you are out of the league, stripped of any titles you earned, and your records are stricken from the record. This may sound harsh, but the current repercussions are pretty weak. Sitting out for 50 games? Is that a punishment or a vacation? An athlete’s body gets a nice long rest. Sure, he may not get paid, but it’s not like he’s making minimum wage and needs the hours. Even if you fine these guys, that just means they can’t buy a fourth house or 15^th car. Make the punishment real and lasting.

I also say they make drug testing mandatory for every player every year and keep samples for 10 years so that the latest designer drugs can be identified once tests are developed. Too expensive? Make the players pay it. I don’t know what they cost, but they can’t be more than $1000, can they? And what’s that to the pros? Even if these expenses were passed to the fans, I’d pay another nickel a game to make sure the 50 guys on the roster were clean.

Athletes are entertainers, and they are being paid to perform. But so are dancers, singers, and cooking show hosts. The difference is that athletics is a competition between two teams or individuals, and ultimately, I’m paying to see that contest. Of course, if I see a crazy dunk or huge hit, I like that as a fan. But mostly I’m here to see a close, clean game. Don’t gouge eyes, don’t purposely injure opponents, and don’t inject something that gives an edge.

The bottom line is that there is no place in sports for drugs that make you bigger or stronger. It is cheating. They provide an unnatural advantage to the users. Sports are supposed to be a test of natural physical and mental abilities that are honed through hard work. If an athlete wants to smoke pot or booze it up before a game like in the old days and can still hit an insanely fast ball or shuttlecock, I have no problem with that. In fact, that’s all the more impressive. But don’t cheat an opponent and don’t cheat us, the fans.