Sunday, May 31, 2009

Why do I ever get a haircut?

When you see me, you probably never think “good haircut” unless it follows “damn, why can’t he get a.” I think that exact same thing when I look in the mirror. Why can’t I get a good haircut? The reason may be my overdeveloped sense of injustice or my possibly unlucky hair.

My sense of injustice is probably more appropriately called “cheapness”. A haircut shouldn’t make me broke. I want something stupidly simple. I’m not asking to look like a bad-ass anime character or have the pompadour of Elvis. I just want my hair shortened. That’s it! Don’t make me look stupid or sloppy or ridiculous. I’ve got my face and clothes to do that. That simple task cannot be worth more than twenty-ish dollars.

My thriftiness has lead me to different solutions in the past, including Supercuts and getting my girlfriend to cut my hair. The conclusion from Supercuts was that you get what you pay for; and Supercuts should be called Supersucks. I know; that’s not very clever.

After that experience (I went there multiple times; if you roll a dice, you should roll a six once in awhile, right?), I decided anybody could do better, so I bought some clippers. I was convinced that a blind person with a butter knife could do at least as good a job as Supercuts. Given that my girlfriend can see and had tools made for cutting hair, she had a good chance. And she did do just as good a job, possibly slightly better. But at the end of the day, I decided that the person who cuts my hair badly and my girlfriend should not be the same person. I realized that if I wanted a decent haircut, my only option was to pony up the cash.

Now I’m paying over 20 bucks a cut, and the results are better but not great. So maybe the problem isn’t in my head but on my head. I’ve been to many barbers and none has really given me something I’ve liked. Maybe I just have a difficult head of hair with a weird cowlick and possibly receding hairline. Maybe my hair lays funny and unevenly. Maybe I don’t know what I really want.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter. I have a girlfriend who was willing to try her hand at cutting my hair, my job doesn’t require me to look decent, and I can’t afford anything else. I guess I’ll just have to get lucky one of these days, which will come from making way more money or losing all my hair.

3 comments:

Sarah Alexander said...

Ha ha! I couldn't have put it better myself! I go to Supercuts because I'm cheap and then I am inevitably unhappy with the results. But I suppose my cheapness trumps my desire to look good because I always go back.

jill hellman said...

thank your lucky stars you are not a woman...my last cut and color cost $117.00.

Ben Priestley said...

The secret is to do it yourself. Even if it sucks, you'll feel proud of your handiwork. The last time I paid for a haircut was 2005! I have a pair of clippers and will gladly cut your hair for free.

That said, if you are still determined to pay for your cuts, I'll accept your cash.