Why ride like you drive?

My bike is fondly referred to as the "death bike" and sits oustide of my lab until I need to travel across campus. Its green frame props up a torn seat, which serves as a sponge, leaving a wet mark on my butt days after it has rained. The gears mostly shift and the tires mostly hold air, but the brakes are its namesake. While not as bad as Flintstone brakes, they are less than immediately responsive. I tend to ride slowly and watch for obstacles and cross streets way ahead of me. Luckily, the bike swerves just fine. Anybody that borrows the bike is strongly advised to use the helmet I provide. Don't worry, I'm going to get the brakes fixed soon.

Though the state of my bike may make me a danger on the road, it makes me only slightly more dangerous than some bikers. I appreciate what bikers do for the environment and the street traffic. But there are a number of bikers that give every other biker a bad name. There are just enough of them that don't obey the rules of the road to make drivers uncertain about their behavior. They are the ones that don't do the following.

1) Don't signal. I'm just a driver, not a psychic. To be fair, I can't stand it when drivers don't signal either. It's dangerous and discourteous.

2) Don't stop at stop signs. I agree that some stop signs are more optional than others for bikers. I don't care if a biker doesn't stop at a sign when nobody is there. That's between the biker and the hidden cop. But if there is a car already waiting, a biker should wait his turn because it's safe and because cutting isn't cool.

3) Don't ride single file. I get it that some bikers may want to chat while riding. But it's a bike lane, and they are usually wide enough for one bike. Riding two abreast is like that driver in front of you that keeps drifting into your lane. Besides, if you can chat, you're not riding hard enough.

4) Don't have lights. I don't care if a biker can't see what's in front of him at night. That's not my problem. However, lightlessness becomes my problem when I can't see him and he comes out of nowhere. I'll yield to what I can see, but give me a chance.

5) Don't use a hands free device. Drivers aren't allowed and shouldn't be allowed to hold a phone to their ears while driving. I think bikers should be held to the same standard--at least on the road. 

In general, I think you should ride like you would drive. But I don't mean this to be a tirade against bikers. I'm willing to stipulate that most follow the rules and are considerate road partners. And I'm sure that drivers do stupid things that affect bikers. I'd like to hear about those so that I can avoid them as a driver. Let me know. Post it here. Then you'll at least have one driver trying to make it easier on you. 

A side note on why I'm no biker

I realized the other day that I am one of the only people in my lab, which consists of 22 people, who drives to work. Nineteen people take public transportation or bike. I applaud everybody that does and applaud Stanford for making it so financially appealing. I actually enjoy taking public transportation if it's affordable and runs often. I loved taking the T in Boston and using the shuttle when I lived on campus. 

However, I also tried biking. For one month I tried biking in Boston to save money. I biked for awhile on campus, too. Both of those experiences gave me an aversion to biking. 

My reasons for not riding are the following in order of least to most legitimate. I'm lazy. It hurts my butt. It takes too long. My girlfriend is already driving. I get disgustingly sweaty by the time I arrive at work or home. It's scary; I don't trust drivers when I'm in my airbagless car, and it seems stupid to give them an even better shot at me by riding a bike. 

I know these may all be lame excuses and maybe I could and should ride a bike. But then I'd have to fix my brakes and share the road with those idiots called drivers.