If you had told me a year ago that Twitter would make it, I would have laughed in your face. If you had told me that I would use it, I would have slapped your face for being utterly ridiculous. Of course, I recently joined Twitter, which sparked a debate with a friend about the purpose of a status update. He contended they should be entertaining, and I came to agree with that.
Status updates are written for an audience, which means they are more than journal entries. Thus, they should have the same purpose as any writing aimed at an audience: to inform, to entertain, or to convince. Good ones accomplish all three.
For those of you who do not know, status updates are short internet entries that people use to tell their friends what they are doing, what they are thinking, or what they are whatevering. I use Twitter and Facebook. People write blurbs ranging from the prosaic "I’m sleepy" and “Just ate a turkey sandwich” to more inventive or emotional ones like "Can Notre Dame lose the Blue-Gold game?"and "5TPD000 you are supposed to yield to on coming traffic. Thanks for helping test out my horn." Good status updates inform readers in an entertaining way and possibly even provoke a discussion.
Many posts are about what a person is doing, falling into the "inform" category. Unfortunately, many are about sleeping or being tired. This is one of the least useful pieces of information in status updates. Everybody sleeps, and most everybody sleeps every day unless you’re a meth addict or an insomniac. The other activity that falls into this category eating (unless eating something or somewhere unusual). Cooking or baking? That’s good information because everybody is looking for a good recipe and readers may not know you cook or bake.
If you are on your way to a bar and want company or are traveling out of town, including this information in a status update is fine because it is useful. If I am bored, I may meet you. If you have a nice stereo system that I covet, I may drop by when you are gone. However, if you are just bored and update because you think people want to know what you are doing, this is a bit narcissistic. I’ve done it because I’m an obvious narcissist, but I now realize that most people probably don’t care. Useless information should not be included in a status update.
Many updates fall into the "entertain" category—or at least they should. My friend contends that these are the only ones worth posting. I agree that a status update should consider the audience and should thus be at least mildly entertaining. After all, I don't care if you are eating a turkey sandwich or going to sleep. If you're eating somewhere new or going to sleep with somebody new, that's a different story. That could be very, very entertaining. Status updates should make the audience laugh or cringe, not fall asleep.
Finally, some updates fall into the “convince” category, even though “convince” may be too strong of a term. Simple opinion statements are often posted, which implicitly voice opinions like “Notre Dame can’t play football” or “Many drivers are idiots”. Sure, updaters are probably looking more for validation than to convince the audience, but at least they are taking a stand. Anybody can reply to a statement, which can be the beginning of a discussion. However, these often deteriorate into childish name calling and mockery—aka good times. Take a stand in your updates.
Some other status-update topics for discussion: posting the latest song stuck in your head, using more than one exclamation point, leaving open-ended statements like “I had a nice day!”
A recent experience illustrated that people do not care about the mundane moments of my daily life. I joined Twitter to keep my family up to date about my daily life because I don’t tell them enough when we speak on the phone. I really thought they might be interested because, well, they are my family. Of course, none of them joined to follow. People may want to know what I’m doing, but they don’t want to know what I’m doing all the time. Instead, readers of status updates want to be entertained, and if they learn a little information, even better.
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