Why the hell could you care less?

I could care less about the use of "I could care less". The statement is often used to express that one does not care at all about something. "Did you know that I threw away a tissue?" "I could care less!" I contend that most people who use this phrase mean the opposite. By using this phrase, they are saying that they do care. The correct phrase should be "I couldN'T care less".

Let's say you have a care-o-meter that indicates how much you care. At the top of the meter, you have maximum care-age. The needle would point to the top if you were asked how much you care about the most important thing in the world to you. It would point here if a Notre Dame alum were asked how much he cares about winning a national football title or if Dick Cheney were asked how much he cares about consolidating power in the executive branch. The top of the meter indicates the most you could possibly care.

At the bottom of the meter, you have minimum care-age, where the needle would point if you were asked to how you feel about the least important thing in the world to you. It would point here if the Big 10 commissioner were told that all the fans wanted a college football playoff or if Bush were told that we live in an international community with increasing globalization (in Bush's defense, he might not understand all those words). The bottom of the meter indicates complete apathy.

Now, if you could care less, that indicates that you are NOT at the bottom of the meter. There is still some room between where you are and complete apathy. You still care a little. If you want to say that you do not care at all about something, you have to say that you couldn't care less. That would mean your care level is zero--the bottom of the meter. There is nothing less important to you. 

"People might think you're overly anal for addressing this on your blog." 

"I couldn't care less." If you made it this far in the post, you understand what I'm saying--and that I'm saying it correctly.