Why didn't you do anything this weekend?

Whenever I am asked about what I did on the weekend, I freeze up for a split second. I know I was supposed to be drinking at some crazy club or chillin’ and grillin’ at a barbeque. At least, that’s what I feel the implications of the question are, and I know I didn’t do those things. I was probably working during the day and watching a movie at home at night.

Is that lame? Do I not have any friends? I have at least four or five friends, and at least two of them live in the area-ish. But back to the point, why do I feel a moment of shame when I’m asked what I did this weekend? The reason is that we introverts aren’t creating social expectations, and we have to change that.

Unfortunately, social expectations are often set by the people who are, well, socializing. As hermit introverts, it's unlikely that we will get together to change that. It's too bad because half of the world is introverts (that’s according to the Meyers-Briggs personality test). We have the power; it’s just dispersed among TV rooms, kitchens, and libraries across the nation.

So, what’s the solution? The solution is to organize, to set an agenda for social change. We’ll call it anti-social change! We need to get together at a bar some time and change social standards! I know; I know. You’re all a bit nervous, my fellow introverts; but don’t worry, so am I. In fact, the thought of grinding the night away, dropping Hamiltons on almost-alcohol-free drinks and screaming at my buds about how wasted I am has me downright anxious. But we have to do something. The extroverts are using their gregariousness to make us feel bad about ourselves. Does nobody else feel this? I for one am sick of it.

We all need to get out and convince people we aren’t losers. We’re just different. You can hold your own in social situations—well, at least most of you. Some of you should probably stay home. But most of you should be out there spreading the word that we are people, too. It doesn’t matter that we prefer sitting at home. That should be our guilt-free right. Get out there, find an extrovert, shake their hand, and say, “Hi, I’m an introvert. And I’m OK with the fact that after I shake your hand, I will go home and veg out on the couch as is normal and is my want.”

And Extroverts, please understand that we’re like you. We like to drink. Just because we aren’t at bars boozing it up, it doesn’t mean we’re not drinking. We may be drinking alone, but we probably have a few close friends nearby. We have relationships. They are mostly the result of two introverts being painfully lonely, to the point that fear of being alone outweighs fear of being with somebody else for extended periods of time. But they are relationships nonetheless. We have friends. At least that’s what they type to me when I’m chatting with them on-line. See, we’re the same as you, Extroverts, except just the opposite.

Introverts, help me spread the word. Please get out there so that 1) I don’t have to feel bad about myself when I tell somebody I haven’t "done anything" this weekend and 2) I don’t have to talk to anybody about this problem.